When I turned 30 years old, I remember feeding my second-born son in his highchair and silently thought, “What the hell am I doing with my life? Is this all there is?” I was painfully unhappy, but I didn’t know why. I thought it was postpartum depression but after thinking about it, I wasn’t necessarily depressed.
That’s when I realized, I was lonely.
Other than having two beautiful children, my life seemed largely unfulfilled. But I didn’t know exactly why that was. So I tried everything to fix it. I would get a job. I would quit the job. I would look for a new house, new car, hell, I would even try to have another baby.
But when all of those things failed, the stark realization hit me – I was gravely unhappy in my marriage. But that’s something I couldn’t admit to anyone, much less myself. Besides, divorce wasn’t even an option for me. The thought of divorcing my husband made me dizzy – how would I survive without him? How would my children cope through a divorce? Where would I live? How does one even separate?
The questions were overwhelming and my answers to them came up empty, so I vowed to work on my marriage. Perhaps this was just a bump in the road, I thought.
But “working on my marriage” meant only me going to counseling, because he didn’t think he needed to. It also meant me pretending that nothing was wrong, because I could not control him. Some days I convinced myself that things were actually getting better. But one can only lie for so long.
After 5 years of lying to myself, I finally had the strength to leave the marriage. Moving out was the hardest day of my life. But starting over after divorce was even harder.
Here is what I had to learn:
- I dated one narcissist after another
- Being in a relationship with a narcissist
- Falling in love with a narcissist even though I was divorcing a narcissist
- How to be a single mother and co-parent with a narcissist
- How to truly find healthy love after divorce
My post-divorce journey was wild, painful, incredible, heartbreaking, and finally, peaceful. I learned how to find self-love and that only through self-love will you find good, healthy relationships.
I am now happily re-married and have a loving, respectful partner who is my best friend, and the love of my life. My kids are thriving and incredibly happy. I was able to start over and find happiness, and this is what I aim to teach you.
Through my personal coaching, my online group programs such as THRIVE and Break Free From Your Narcissist, my podcasts on how to deal with a divorce or break up, or my blogs on how to find happiness during or after a divorce, this is where you can get started on your own journey. Whether you’re thinking about a divorce or break up, or you are already separated, I know how it feels impossible to recover. I know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and wonder if you’ll ever stop crying.
But trust me, you will. I have coached thousands of men and women, and for those who have truly worked with me, each of them is finally living a life they love (just read the testimonials!). It takes time and patience, but you will find happiness! (Even if you’re so heart broken and confused, you will!)
Feel free to reach out to me using my contact form. I would love to hear from you!
“To say that our sessions have been life-changing is an understatement. She just “gets” me, and is compassionate, but also calls me on my bulls**t. Suffice it to say that Lindsey’s approach of returning to love, finding your inner source and learning to love yourself to attract the people and life you want is just what I need.”Maggie D.