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“You never disappoint, I never read your emails and think ‘yeah maybe.’ You are always, always on the money and I am extremely grateful to receive your wonderful wisdom for free.” —Leah, subscriber
A MESSAGE FROM LINDSEY
My Dear Friend, Welcome!
If you are here to purchase my MAGIC Words workbook, click here. But before you go, read below to find out what’s new in my life, and about an amazing free gift I offer.
For all others, you might have stumbled on my site because you are going through, or recovering, from a painful divorce or break-up, and are looking for answers and resources. You’ve come to the right place. Please explore my site for articles and videos, as well as my podcast for practical guidance.
But please, keep reading, because I want to talk about your pain, and share my story with you.
Aside from losing a loved one due to death, there is no other worse pain than from a breakup. Not only is it painful, but the grief can be enormously isolating because people expect you to simply “get over it,” especially when the person you loved behaved terribly.
Having been married twice, and having experienced some extremely painful breakups in between, I know how excruciating it can be. The healing journey can take a long time, and while in it, it can feel like forever.
In the summer of 2020, during the height of the pandemic and isolation, my marriage was deteriorating, and I was losing my final grip of saving it. The thought of experiencing yet another breakup was too devastating to bear. Even worse, because I was a coach, author, and an “expert” on relationships, I made up that I would also lose my business should I be “exposed” of my failed marriage. I literally nearly died from the shame of it all.
But I didn’t die. In fact, today, I have never been happier, nor felt more alive.
But it wasn’t easy getting here.
There were two things I had to sort through: my childhood past, and my relationship with God (wait, before you freak out with this word, please keep reading).
Both were ignored and forgotten and ultimately, they found me.
With help from the world-renowned center for childhood trauma, The Meadows, I was able to understand how my past created a false belief system of my present, which continued to dictate, and have control over, my future. I was unknowingly in a cycle of hell.
I learned about the unrelenting pain of love addiction, and why we choose unhealthy partners to heal our past – a quest that can never be fulfilled, no matter how hard we try.
And as with all addictions, I was introduced to the 12-step programs of CODA and SLAA, to which, at first, I vehemently resisted because of their use of “God.”
I cringed at the word and any group that aimed to define it for me. I was stealthily opposed to any organized religion because of my personal belief that “religion” creates more war and hate than any good.
“God” was not my biggest fan.
But as I dove deeper into my 12-Step work, I discovered that for much of my adult life, I had a different Higher Power: Men.
They gave me what I could not give myself. I assigned them the impossible role of making me happy, complete, and safe. And most of the time, they gladly accepted this role, which only narcissists do without question. My childhood pain ran so deep, my only way out was to be loved by a man, because I didn’t know how to love myself.
By the beginning of 2020, my unresolved past and toxic love addiction finally collided. My life became unmanageable and I felt I was going insane. I had to find a different way, or else I would die.
I finally succumbed to the first step: “Admitting I was powerless over love, and my life had become unmanageable.”
Thus, a new journey was paved forward, yet I never expected what would come next.
After my separation, I endured months of bend-over heartbreak; crying for days and weeks, wondering if it would ever cease. The pain was agonizing. I had no other choice but to pray. Humbly, I handed my pain over to my Higher Power, and asked Him to remove it from me. I didn’t even know who “He” was, but I no longer cared.
Just a few weeks later, the pain miraculously stopped. In the early mornings after I’d awake, I’d sit quietly in my reclining chair, staring outside my window watching the snow fall. I began to listen for a voice within; a voice that wasn’t my own; a voice that went far beyond my ego.
I wrote down all that I heard, without resisting what came to me. Every day I wrote a new passage and to my utter surprise, I found the words extremely comforting. They were not my own, but they were mine.
That is when I finally understood that God is in me – not far away, high up in the clouds, or in a Universe that I could not reach. He, or She, whatever gender or non-gender it is, was there, and always has been. (God is also in you, and you, too, have the power to tap into It, He, or She.)
I also became Divinely inspired to create a new online course, Breakup Breakthrough, so that I could teach women the tools that had a profound impact on my recovery. I am in awe of the healing it is giving to so many. (For my male readers, a course is currently in development).
After a few months of effortlessly writing the daily passages that became the cornerstone of my healing, I realized the words came so easily to me because they were meant to be shared.
I’d like to offer them to you today, at no charge.
It is my honor to invite you to receive my daily email, Blessons of a Breakup. Each day you will receive a short “Blesson” (a blessing with a lesson), that I hope will heal you from your pain, and guide you to think differently about your breakup and future romantic partnerships. No matter where you are in your break-up journey, I encourage you to give it a try, as it may positively alter your view on relationships.
Should you opt in, I will explain the terminology used and how to navigate each passage that suits your spiritual comfort level. This is a non-denominational, non-religious, non-cultish approach, and you can opt-out at any time.
As a final note, for years, I’ve resisted incorporating the word “God” in my coaching, for fear of offending, as well as my own personal resistance to it. But having learned the hard way, I now firmly believe that one cannot recover from a painful breakup, without tapping into a power greater than ourselves. I call it “God,” but by all means, please use whatever word that inspires you.
I hope you can join me with an open mind, and I will see you in your email inbox.
As Seen In…
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