Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate
Divorce can be messy, gut wrenching, and throw you off balance for at least 1-3 years. But divorce attorney, mediator, and author of the book Better Apart, Gabrielle Hartley, shares her radical ideas on how we can separate without losing ourselves in the process. Hint: It’s about your mindset and how you look at it!
Join her masterclass and use “Better30” for a discount into the program.
https://www.masterclass.gabriellehartley.com/better-apart-masterclass
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The Stigma & Shame of Non-Custodial Parenting
Meet Susan Eckstein, empowerment coach, badass, mom warrior and advocate. Eight years ago she divorced her husband and made the brave choice to be the non-custodial parent, a heart-wrenching decision she made for her two boys. For years she hid her decision from her social circle, until she decided, only recently, to release her shame, define motherhood for herself, and share her journey with the world.
And for all you non-custodial dads out there, listen to this! This episode is also for you.
Find Susan at www.susanecksteincoaching.com
Instagram: @susan_eckstein
FB: https://www.facebook.com/susanecksteincoaching/
Finally, A Coparenting Solution!
How many times have you texted your ex and gotten no response? Or when you ask for reimbursement on something and you lose track of all that you are owed? Or what about all those texts between the tow of you and you can’t keep track of all that back and forth? Finally, there’s a solution and it’s called Fayr – a robust app that makes coparenting easier. I talk with Michael Daniels, founder of Fayr and divorced father of two. He shares his personal story of his divorce, losing everything, living out of his car and his big idea that got him back on his feet, helping millions of parents struggling with coparenting.
Ready to get the app? Go to BeFayr.com and sign up using the discount code “Lindsey1” – NOTE: You must go through website and not the app store to get the discount!
P.S. – Check out his appearance on Planet of the Apps, Apple TV’s reality show for rising tech stars HERE and see how Gwyneth Paltrow backs his investment. Pretty cool!
When You Cheat on Yourself
If you’ve been cheated on, then you know how crippling it can be to your self-esteem. It can send a crumbling ripple effect to your ego, making you feel worthless for many months, if not years.
You play the blame game, and you play it well. You’re the victim, and you give your cheater immense power over you. You may look for answers but you may never get them. And because you don’t have a real answer as to why he cheated, all you can do is blame.
“If only I had complimented him more,” you think.
“If only I had more reasonable.”
“If only I was prettier… thinner… funnier.”
But let me tell you a secret: every time you say, “If only…,” you are cheating on yourself.
And when you cheat on yourself, it’s the ultimate betrayal. It means you don’t value who you are. You don’t respect your boundaries. You think you’re aren’t good enough.
So if YOU feel that way about yourself, why is he not allowed to think the same?
Why does he get all the blame, and you take none of it?
Of course, the cheater is initially responsible. But once it’s done and you find out, how you react to it is entirely up to you. If you can’t raise your head high, and know that what he did has nothing to do with you, then you are cheating on yourself.
Because it’s not okay for someone to abuse your trust.
It’s not okay for someone to give you less than 100% love and safety.
It’s not okay for someone to lower the bar in the relationship and pretend it’s otherwise.
The minute you think that it is okay, then you are cheating on yourself.
When you stop cheating on yourself, it means that you know you are worth someone’s time and emotional investment. It means you open to receiving greatness, and willing to give it someone else. But if you continue to cheat, then you will be forever stuck in sorrow.
Even if your spouse or partner doesn’t physically/sexually cheat on you, but he treats you poorly with emotional abuse, as long as you put up with it, you’re cheating on yourself.
So essentially, it doesn’t matter what is done to you by someone else. All that matters is how you honor yourself, and uphold your integrity with the highest level of respect.
Remember this when you feel the urge to text him looking for answers, or when your feelings were hurt and didn’t communicate them. Remember this if he blows you off for several hours, but then apologizes and you let him back in (when you know it doesn’t feel right). If you don’t trust your instincts but expect someone else to provide that trust for you, you will continue to cheat and be let down.
In my coaching practice, I always tell my clients to strengthen the voice within that says, “That’s not okay.” You truly know when it’s not okay – but be sure to say it. And if someone walks away from you after you say, “It’s not okay,” then let him go. He ain’t worth it.
You have this remarkable freedom to get what you desire, but only if you stay true to your word. As Miguel Ruiz says in his book, The Four Agreements:
“Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself… It is through the word that you manifest everything… Self-rejection is the biggest sin you can commit.”
But you know this already… you just needed a little reminder.