MAGIC Words: How to Get What you Want from a Narcissist  GET THE BOOK

When we experience fear, worry, or sadness, we are not aligned with our true self, our Spirit, or the divine within. Our ego takes over and more often, we don’t even recognize that it is. Our ego is the opposite of divine love.

It gives us many false messages such as:

  • You have been rejected due to the absence or departure of another
  • Something was “done” to you and you don’t have control over it
  • You feel abandoned or ignored due to the absence or departure of another When our ego takes over our mind, we feel powerless.

However, if you were aligned with your true self, you would receive these messages:

  • The person who is no longer in your life clearly lives with fear. You wish them strength to conquer their fears, but you are glad you no longer are associated with a fearful person. Because after all, fear is contagious.
  • You acknowledge and accept your actions that led you to the person that hurt you. You honor the event and receive a lesson from it. You experience gratitude towards the event, because it is a reminder that you were not living your truth, otherwise, the person would have never hurt you.
  • There is no such thing as abandonment, because that word is only a perception of what is. You fill yourself with love and new things to do, now that this person is no longer in your life.

Rather than sitting with a void that you believe can only filled by another, you know that this void was already there before you met this person, and you will fill it with love for you.

In relationships, we falsely give the other immense responsibility to give you love.

A partner should be an addition to the love you already have, not the full source.

So when that person is no longer there, we feel an immense void and loss, and then tend to rely on other people or things to fill that void.

We fail to look within ourselves to do that work.

When you are aligned with your truth, you have a set of beliefs by which you live.

Now, think of your truth as your book of rules, per say.

Generally speaking, what happens when rules get broken? There are consequences – some kind of action needs to be taken, right?
Now let’s choose a better word over ‘rules’ because it sounds so rigid. Let’s call your rules boundaries instead.

So if you know your truth, then you have a set of boundaries. And if those boundaries ever get crossed, there are consequences!

Let’s say you’re dating someone new, and you are the kind of person who is punctual, and expects others to be the same. In your truth, respecting a person’s time is gravely important. People may not agree with your truth, but it doesn’t matter, it’s YOUR truth, not theirs.

However, if you offer your time and heart to someone, you expect someone to respect it – this is your boundary.

So, if your new date, whom you like, is consistently late, you will speak up. You may even gently pass a warning of a consequence (hint: no more dating you!).

Or you may not even give a warning, you may just dump them altogether.

So far, in this scenario, you are honoring your truth. You don’t like tardiness and you held your boundary.

Now here’s where you align with it:

  • You don’t feel guilty about speaking up.
  • Should your date be offended and never call you again, you don’t second guess yourself.
  • You know how awesome you are, and you know that someone who is equally awesome will cross your path.
  • And because of that, you won’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t respect it.

Make sense?

So here’s your first exercise to help you align with your truth. Write this down.

Step 1: What is one thing you believe strongly in? Pick anything – it could be your faith, politics, how you parent, how you date
Step 2: What are your hard core deal breakers – meaning, you will speak up or remove yourself from a situation should boundaries be crossed?
Step 3: How have you ignored this thing that you believe in? Think of examples from your past relationships, and what you didn’t do about it.
Step 4: How would you react differently, now that you have aligned with your truth?

Awesome job!

Healing from a past relationship means knowing what you believe in now, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes later!

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