Check out my new book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist!
When I was first married long ago, I had no idea I was dealing with a narcissist. I would get sucked into arguments, defend myself, try to change his mind, rationalize, etc. As you probably know, this method didn’t work, and the marriage didn’t work out (read my bio for more on this).
Even after our divorce, co-parenting our two boys was a challenge. I reacted to every text or email between us, and would fly off the handle when he wouldn’t listen or do what I asked of him. Post-divorce, I found I was even more exhausted because at that point, he really didn’t value a word I said. After researching narcissism and codependency in great depth, I realized that it was me who had to change. I had to wear a new lens if I was going to survive the next several years of my boys’ childhood. I had to communicate differently. Through trial and error, that is when I discovered the “MAGIC” and my life improved drastically.
A few years later, now a relationship coach helping people through their divorce and break up, I found my clients struggling with how to communicate without losing their mind (or their cool). I began coaching them the MAGIC principles and I saw the light bulbs go off. My clients would screen shot their text messages with their narcissist and send them to me with a message, “I can’t believe that worked!” That’s when I knew I had a formula that worked.
This book is about how to communicate with a narcissist. Other books may offer the advice of “No Contact” or to just ignore the narcissist’s cruel texts or emails, with no other formula or strategy to follow. This book will give you practical, step-by-step guidance on how to build a persuasion plan, and the precise words from which to communicate. It will empower you and disempower your narcissist.
Now available on Amazon, this book will be your go-to, pocket resource for when you are in conflict and are stuck on exactly what to say.
Ready to get your copy? Click the button below to purchase.
Get the MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist Companion Workbook
Want an extra resource to help you with the MAGIC? Check out my new workbook designed to help you with your strategy and create your own MAGIC Words. This is a downloadable PDF where you can fill in your answers without even needing to print! This is perfect for when you want to build a covert plan without anyone seeing it, or as an extra read-along for the Audible or Kindle versions.
Note: This workbook is not suggested to be used without reading the actual book, MAGIC Words. You will not understand the context without the book, so please purchase the printed, Kindle, or Audible version first.
PLUS…if you purchase the MAGIC Words Workbook and buy the book on Amazon.com and write a book review, I’ll refund you the $7 for the workbook! Just email me your Amazon.com review screenshot, and yes, the workbook is yours for free!
Purchase your copy now and get immediate access.
Praise for Magic Words
“I have read a lot of different suggestions or advice on how to deal with a narcissistic spouse. What makes Lindsey’s book different is it attacks the problem head-on and it does so through a calm and focused communication that puts out the emotional fires. In some respects, it is an effective way to communicate about any problem, but especially when dealing with a personality disorder on the other side.”B. Robert Farzad
“This book is a gem—concise, to the point, filled with step by step directions and examples of her magic words and phrases and how to use them in different situations to get the result you want. Lindsey continually reminds us to take a business approach and leave emotions out of it, which is so helpful, since I often get stuck here. Her coaching throughout this book is very encouraging ,and also validates the fact that we are dealing with crazy, manipulative people and that some of the phrases and words may not ‘feel’ right but are truly going to help us achieve our personal agenda! There is an excellent appendix as a quick reference as well. I have already underlined so many ideas in the book to use. First email sent today!”Susan
“Throughout my career I have heard it said, over and over, that you don’t take business, personal. When you are dealing with a narcissist, it’s hard not to take their orchestrations, personal. Lindsey Ellison’s approach is in a business like, format. It is direct and to the point. Magic Words is a quick read that leaves you with some valuable tools when dealing directly with a narcissist.
The book shows you how to put together a profile of the person you are dealing with and identify their bias which is often what they are trying to hide or protect. Set a goal for each conversation that includes what you hope to obtain. Then you are given word combinations that allow you to reach those goals that are less threatening to the narcissist, feeding his/her false self.
Lindsey shares many examples allowing the reader to compare and contrast with their personal experiences. It’s much like a business plan that you can make personal and mold it to fit your needs. The book will definitely empower the reader. The more tools we have for communicating with people that have narcissistic behavior, the more confident we become in our everyday life. Lindsey’s insights give us that confidence.”Mark J.
“This is a gem of a how-to book that will prove to be a valuable resource for anyone who has suffered from narcissistic abuse. I appreciate Lindsey’s straight forward and logical manner that she explains the problem while simultaneously describing the solutions. Her question answer format will connect to the reader who is dire need of information and solutions. Not only will the reader sense Lindsey’s heart and passion, it is quite clear that her expertise may very well change their life.”Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
“With so many resources on understanding, breaking free from, and healing after narcissistic abuse, you may think you’ve read it all on navigating communication with the narcissist in your life. No Contact, while necessary and effective, simply isn’t viable for many survivors of narcissistic abuse.
If you are co-parenting, trying to maintain a relationship with a narcissistic parent or family member, or are navigating a high-conflict divorce from a narcissist, you need this book!
MAGIC Words is that long awaited missing link of advice between never speaking to the narcissist again and being emotionally embroiled in a toxic dance that took you so long to get out of in the first place.
MAGIC Words is clearly written, insightful and filled with real life examples of what to say and what not to say. Lindsey Ellison does a masterful job of teaching not only why we need to communicate with a narcissist differently, but how to do just that. Drawing from her personal experience and years of working with her coaching clients, she offers a unique yet powerful step-by-step approach to discovering the most effective words to use with the narcissist in your life.
This is the book I’ve been waiting for! After the battle of becoming a survivor of narcissistic abuse, MAGIC Words has totally changed the way I now co-parent with the narcissist in my life. It has also provided valuable insights for the way I communicate with my children to help them understand and navigate a better relationship with their narcissistic father.
Thank you Lindsey for sharing your work and mission with us in such a practical and powerful way. MAGIC Words is soon to be my most recommended resource for anyone caught in or escaping a toxic relationship with a narcissist.”Allison P.
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